inspiration strikes - a break from the monotony

Saturday, January 18, 2003

ICE

9am. I looked outside my window at the Charles River, now more frozen tundra than flowing river. The following poem has been stuck in my mind since that glance at crisp morning from the inviting nest of my comforter:

SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

With that, I adjust my pillow, pull the covers closer and curl up with a good book.
Happy weekend.
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mattchun 1/18/2003 10:06:00 AM [+] ::
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FRIDAY AFTERNOON WORK CONVERSATION

HER: "I was wondering if you could join me on this conference call."
TRANSLATION: I know you're swamped on your current project, but I have some more work that I'm going to throw your way because I'm an insensitive trollop.

ME: "Let me check my outlook calendar."
TRANSLATION: Damn it, you harpy. I've bet you've got more work for me.

HER: "(Company X) is interested in putting together a back-of-the-envelope analysis of this revised proposal."
TRANSLATION: I know it's Friday afternoon, but I'm going to try to make you work this weekend because I'm a tactless, overbearing shrew.

ME: "I don't think we have the data from (Company X) to put that together."
TRANSLATION: Screw that. It's Friday afternoon, and there's no way in hell I'm going to come into the office this weekend. I already worked all last weekend, and I have a busy schedule of watching football and drinking in front of me.

HER: "Actually, let me see if I can get John on it."
TRANSLATION: I bet that another little toadie will do my evil bidding.

ME: "Okay."
TRANSLATION: Oh yeah! Dodged a bullet on that one, but how do I resolve this level of joy with my developing feelings of survivor guilt given John's impending demise? I bet I alcohol will help.
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mattchun 1/17/2003 05:06:00 PM [+] ::
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THE OCTOPUS FILES

The other day, I posted a link to my site on The Octopus Files, a directory of weblogs. In recognition of the posting, here's a snippet of dialogue from one of my favorite 80's comedies:

HER: "He keeps trying to put his testicles all over me!"
HIM: "What??!"
HER: "Testicles, you know...like the octopus."
HIM: "Oh! No, you mean TENTACLES. Enn..Tee. Makes a big difference."

Can you name the film? First one to post with the correct answer wins a prize!
Note: Prize is the satisfaction of knowing that you were the first one to respond with the correct answer.

Okay, so it's not much of a prize.
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mattchun 1/17/2003 09:53:00 AM [+] ::
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SOMETIMES IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE THAT BRING US JOY

Case in point: The men's room at my office has two sinks that, for two perturbing reasons, are less-than-optimally functional:

1) The sinks are the type with motion detectors that control the flow of water. These "sensors" are not very sensitive, requiring violent, manic gesticulations beneath the faucet (the manual equivalent of a rain dance) in order to produce a lackluster stream of water.

2) The sink seems to have one temperature setting, and that setting is ice-ass-cold.

Today, in the normal course of my human activities, I cruised by the men's room. After performing my biological duty, I placed my palms under the faucet, ready to furiously shake my hands and bracing for the frigid blast. To my surprise, before I began my usual flurry of knuckle-wrenching, a torrent of comfortable, luke-warm water rinsed the soap from my triumphant fingers. Someone had fixed the faucet!

I'm not ashamed to admit that this made my day.
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mattchun 1/16/2003 04:46:00 PM [+] ::
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HAPPY NATIONAL NOTHING DAY!

My friend Bryan, celebrating his birthday today with a less than substantial modicum of enthusiasm, relayed to me the declaration of January 16th as National Nothing Day.

In celebration, Bryan is hoping to do as close to nothing as possible. On the schedule: drinking Newcastle and playing darts.
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mattchun 1/16/2003 10:53:00 AM [+] ::
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THE TOP FIVE TV/MOVIE CHARACTERS FROM THE 1980'S THAT I WANTED TO BE AS A YOUNGER CHAP:

honorable mention: Stringfellow Hawk (Jan Michael Vincent) from Airwolf. Excellent cellist. Cool helicopter and mountain hideout.

5. Marty McFly from Back to the Future - Kind of a doofus, but he traveled through time and played a mean guitar.
4. One of the Goonies from The Goonies - I was always fascinated with the notion that there might be treasure out there for me to discover.
3. MacGyver - I don't know how Richard Dean Anderson could even think about doing another show after MacGyver, but now he's on that Stargate show. So disappointing.
2. Han Solo - Greg wrote an interesting comparison of himself to this rogue space smuggler from Star Wars.
1. Henry Jones, Jr. (Indiana) from Indiana Jones - Educated and adventurous. Bullwhip, Fedora and Pistol. A man's man and a ladykiller all rolled into one.

HERE'S A LIST OF OTHER MOVIE CHARACTERS I'D WANT TO BE...

...IF I WANTED TO PULL A FAST ONE:
Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felson in The Hustler or Henry Gondorff/Mr. Shaw in The Sting.

...IF I NEEDED TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS:
Depending on the situation, Maximus from Gladiator, Legolas/Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, Leon from The Professional.

...IF I WANTED TO GET THE GIRL:
Any of a number of different John Cusack movie characters. Given all of the swooning that occurs when women discuss Say Anything, I'd probably start with Lloyd Dobler.

...IF I WANTED TO GET THE GIRL AND FIND TRUE LOVE:
Wesley (Cary Elwes) from The Princess Bride
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mattchun 1/15/2003 06:51:00 PM [+] ::
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I DID IT ALL FOR THE GNOCCHI

Reason #3251 that my roommate kicks ass -- He and his girlfriend always bring home great leftovers from restaurants around Boston that they foist upon my palette -- and of course, to refuse them would be impolite.

If you haven't had re-heated gnocchi for breakfast, then you haven't lived.
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mattchun 1/15/2003 01:37:00 PM [+] ::
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SMELL YOU LATER

I ride the subway, or "the T," as it is called in Boston, to work every day. I enjoy the 20 minutes or so it takes me to get from my apartment to my office. It gives me some time to clear my head and do some reading.

I don't, however, enjoy the days the T-cars turn to sardine cans, and my arms are cemented against my sides by fellow passengers, some of whom have chosen not to shower or brush their teeth.

The T needs one of those carnival signs that you see by the lines to the roller-coaster. "You must be at least this clean to ride the train."
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mattchun 1/15/2003 12:42:00 PM [+] ::
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THE BEST OF THE WEB AS OF JANUARY 11th, 2003

Every once in a while, I like to peruse the list of most frequent search words on the web. It's interesting to see what web-wave the average surfer is hangin' ten on, dude. That said, here's a top ten list of searches from last week:

10. Detroit Auto Show - I guess there are a lot of gear-heads out there. I've never been to Detroit, but I hear it's a lovely city (mild sarcasm).

9. IRS - Yeah, don't look now, but April 15th is right around the corner. Tax returns are so much fun. I love itemizing deductions (more sarcasm).

8. Las Vegas - Vegas baby, Vegas. The only time I've been to Vegas, I nearly lost all of my life savings. Luckily, I was a student, so I didn't really have any life savings to start with.

7. Harry Potter - For no apparent reason, I sometimes feel compelled to exclaim, "You're a wizard, Harry!" in my best Hagrid voice.

6. Atkins Diet - From what I understand, it's not good for you, it may make you stink (aromatic amino acids), but who cares, you're losing weight!

5. Tattoos - I don't have one, unless you count the one I accidentally gave myself (a pencil lead dot in the meaty part of my thumb) in elementary school.

4. Lord of the Rings - Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and crew were cool, but the most amazing part of the movie was Gollum. Preeeccciiiousssss...

3. Dragonball - I don't know what this is, but apparently it's very popular.

2. NFL - Can I just say that I love football commercials? The ones with Don Cheadle are slick and dramatic, but I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I get the biggest kick out of the beer commercials. In spite of their blatant sexism, they are pretty damn funny.

1. KaZaA - Please remember to delete any downloaded mp3's within 24 hours of listening to them, so the poor, threadbare, empty-pocketed music executives can afford to feed their crippled children.

mattchun 1/14/2003 08:29:00 PM [+] ::
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CURRENTLY READING...

...The World According to Garp, by John Irving. I've never read any Irving before (except, Washington Irving). Both Garp and A Prayer for Owen Meany have been recommended to me repeatedly. Garp just happened to be the first one I saw at the bookstore.

I just finished a book called Blues People, by LeRoi Jones, which chronicles the development of Blues music from its origins in early work songs up through the 1950's. It was included as part of the "semi-required" curricula for a jazz class I took about seven years ago, but I only recently got around to reading to it. Better late than never, I suppose.
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mattchun 1/14/2003 01:27:00 PM [+] ::
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KIM JONG IL SHOULD WRITE FOR THE ONION

Though I was born in raised in these United States (Vermont to be precise -- as a side note, I was once traveling out west and someone asked me what state Vermont was in, but that's another story), my parents were born in Korea and moved here in the 60's. That said, I have been following the North Korean conflict with keen interest. The following was in Nicholas Kristof's editorial in today's NYTimes:

"The North Korean regime reacted typically to the 1990's famine, which killed some two million North Koreans, by putting propaganda into overdrive. A campaign urged the health benefits of dieting, and the national slogan became "Let's Eat Just Two Meals a Day!" There was even a television documentary focusing on a man who ate too much rice - and then supposedly exploded."

I love propaganda if only for the unintentional comedy factor. There's this place in Boston (actually, Cambridge) called Redbones, whose ribs I once ate in such quantity that I thought I was going to explode. I should produce a documentary on the topic and send it to the Pyongyang agitprop machine.
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mattchun 1/14/2003 09:19:00 AM [+] ::
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TODAY AND WINTER YESTERDAY: A SONNET

I was once a tousle-headed child
who'd frolic, sliding through the snowy hills,
free to roam, and dodging brambles wild
with scarf and collar staving off the chill
of winter's grip (its blust'ry icy ire)
'til I returned to hearth and home to warm
my fingers, toes and ears by roaring fire.
Still now braving cold and wint'ry storm
I tread the path through whirling gusts and rasps,
but concrete now is firm beneath my feet
sled no longer in my mittened grasp,
the hills have now become the city street.
Across my brow i pull my woolen hat
stepping quick to race the other rats.
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mattchun 1/13/2003 05:55:00 PM [+] ::
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MY BODY IS A FINELY TUNED MACHINE

Not really, but did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer forgoes a normal alarm clock and relies on his internal body clock to wake him up? Last night I forgot to set the alarm on my clock and yet I awoke at 7am, nearly on the dot. Now if I could only find my internal snooze.
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mattchun 1/13/2003 10:23:00 AM [+] ::
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