inspiration strikes - a break from the monotony

Friday, February 07, 2003

TGIF, BECAUSE I'VE GOT A SPLITTING HEADACHE

Did you ever see the Friday the 13th where Jason wraps a belt around some poor schlep's head like a tourniquet and twists it around until his skull is crushed? That's what the gray zone between my temples feels like right now.

On the subject of scary movies, here's a little tidbit about my childhood. I'm the baby of my immediate family. Growing up, there were many pluses and minuses to being the baby of the family, but one of the pluses was being able to surreptitiously view the horror flicks that my older siblings were allowed to watch before I was technically allowed to watch them. That is, it was a plus until it was time to go to sleep.

Many nights, I stayed up 'til the wee hours, frightfully convinced that some lurking psycho with dead grey eyes and an unsteady gait was going to crush my impressionable little brain with a braided leather belt; or gouge my eyes out, left then right, with a phillips-head screwdriver; or disembowel me, armed with a potato masher, needle-nose pliers and ruthless inefficiency.

Some imaginations run wild. Mine was training for the decathlon.
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mattchun 2/07/2003 05:27:00 PM [+] ::
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RANDOM, ASSORTED THOUGHTS WHILE BURNING THE JUST-BEFORE-MIDNIGHT OIL

In March, I'm traveling to Idaho. I've never been to Idaho but I have high expectations for the state given that it's kind of shaped like a big upside-down Vermont. I'll be skiing in the skinny part up near Canada.

A Farewell to Arms isn't the cheeriest book I've ever read.

I'm a Boston sports fan. The Red Sox have not won a World Series in 85 years. The 6th of February was Babe Ruth's birthday, and I can almost hear that portly, pinstriped, American icon laughing from beyond the grave.

Sometime soon, I'm going to eat a big, rare steak; one that's cold and red in the middle. Then I'm going to smoke a big, fat cigar and drink some good scotch.

Regardless of whether or not you like your job, fifteen-hour work days tend to make you grumpy.

We may be able to use addressable lines as a proxy for price elasticity of demand. Just trust me on this one.
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mattchun 2/06/2003 11:39:00 PM [+] ::
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INADVERTENT CENSORSHIP

Haloscan still appears to be having troubles with the comments for I/S. I have now regained the comments from Tuesday and prior, but I've now lost a series of comments from yesterday. I guess the folks at Haloscan just don't like what we have to say.
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mattchun 2/06/2003 07:41:00 AM [+] ::
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BUCK NAKED...

...is the name that what TV character claimed as his name, if he were to ever enter the adult film industry?

With posts like this and this directly or indirectly citing the adult entertainment industry and news that Sarah Kozer (of Joe Millionaire "fame") starred in fetish films, I've temporarily got porn on the brain.

Rather than degrade this site with actual pornography, let's play the adult film star name game. For those who haven't played, here's what you do. Take either your middle name or the name of a pet that shared your gender. Next, add the name of the street you grew up on.

Mine is...Max Maple. With a porn star name like that, I'm clearly in the wrong profession. What's your porn star name?
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mattchun 2/05/2003 07:55:00 PM [+] ::
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THRILLAH ON CAPITOL HILL-AH

Today, my boss is testifying before the House Committee on Energy and Commerce (for the Subcommittee on Telecommunications and the Internet). It's a hearing on the current health of the telecommunications industry. I was watching part of the webcast, and it reminded me of the movie Quiz Show, though it was much less entertaining.
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mattchun 2/05/2003 03:22:00 PM [+] ::
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INTERNET HONESTY

My last post on this article was ostensibly in jest, but it got me thinking. The Internet is in many ways a fantasy land; surfers are able to adopt a virtual persona, regardless of how exciting or mundane their lives are. There is an egalitarian nature to the web in that its denizens are judged by what they say, rather than by their brick and mortar actions.

On the flip side, the cyber-world is one where 'caveat emptor' is always in mind. Can one take at face value what is being said by the oft-faceless? As a generally trusting individual, I think the majority of folks out there in blogland give true characterizations of themselves. I'm sure there is some exaggeration / obfuscation, but little outright mendacity.

I think BlogMatt is a reasonable facsimile of flesh and blood Matt, though I'm hardly an impartial judge of that. How close is your web voice to your real life persona?
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Note: Haloscan is on the fritz -- I didn't delete your comments, they've been lost to the angry server
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mattchun 2/05/2003 09:49:00 AM [+] ::
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I WISH I WERE MORE LIKE MY ONLINE PERSONA

Okay, who's been blabbing to the Onion about me?
This is pretty funny and it speaks volumes about the world of blogging.
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mattchun 2/04/2003 07:20:00 PM [+] ::
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I'M NOT HERE TO SAY 'PLEASE,' I'M HERE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO

Last night, I returned home after playing basketball, and Pulp Fiction was on; I watched most of it since I hadn't seen it in a while. I decided to burn a few minutes here at work and figure out which Pulp Fiction character I am. Turns out I'm Winston Wolf. I solve problems. Who the hell are you?
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mattchun 2/04/2003 03:52:00 PM [+] ::
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STUCK IN MY HEAD

Ipso facto, using up your oxygen.
You know I'm shallow, calling out for extra help
You've got to let me in or let me out.

I've been dreaming of the things I've learned
about a boy who's leaving nothing left to chance.
You've got to let me in or let me out.
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mattchun 2/04/2003 02:10:00 PM [+] ::
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SAYING NO TO BON MOT

My name is Matt and I have a problem. Mine is an insidious menace that has steadily and stealthily developed over time. The problem, friends, is an addiction to puns.

Though there are some among you who encouraged my habit, you certainly weren't the first ones to introduce me to puns. I had heard about them in school and had even tried them once or twice, but at the time it was a simple fascination. It started with a pun here or there to liven up a post or a comment; I used them sporadically, and only when the occasion truly called for a zippy zinger. I always knew that I could stop myself.

But could I?

I've come to realize that the answer is no. Over the past several weeks, the abuse has intensified. I have found that I cannot control this urge. It is a lurking monster buried within my clicking keyboard, like some burrowing insect consuming my prose. I must strike out the blight, before it is too late.

This isn't to say that I will forgo puns altogether. I'll still use them now and again -- to grace the occasional title, to end the occasional post, to punch up the occasional comment. The pun will be my salt, sparingly sprinkled to flavor my literary creations, but nothing more.

With your aid, I can control the id of my idiom and help to ensure that when inspiration strikes, no one is hurt. Thanks for listening.
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mattchun 2/04/2003 07:57:00 AM [+] ::
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THE LIFT IS OUT

The elevator in my apartment building is busted. It hasn't worked for a while. Normally this isn't a big deal and I relish the exercise, but it becomes an ordeal when I'm bringing home groceries (like yesterday), or when I'm returning home late after a long day at work (probably today). What's especially troubling is that the door to the elevator is a bit ajar; I'm concerned that I might drop my keys or wallet or a small dog in there by accident -- I worry about these sorts of things.

I don't have a working elevator and yet I still get the shaft.
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mattchun 2/03/2003 05:38:00 PM [+] ::
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ON A LIGHTER NOTE

After a rainy, dreary weekend, it is bright and sunny in Boston. It is supposed to get up around 40 degrees today! I can't believe that a scant few days ago, the mercury was hovering around 5F.

That's the thing about New England weather: if you don't like it, wait ten minutes.
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mattchun 2/03/2003 11:16:00 AM [+] ::
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COLUMBIA

I wasn't sure if I was going to post on this subject or not. There are certain events, and unfortunately they often tend to be of a tragic nature, for which you remember quite vividly where you were and what you were doing at the moment you heard the news. The most recent and vivid examples indelibly etched in our collective history are found in the attacks of September 11th; but before the despicable acts of 9/11, perhaps the first dolorous moment that my memory crystallized was the Challenger explosion in 1986. I think it was the first time (and perhaps the only time) I saw one of my teachers openly weep in the classroom. Unsure how to react or what to do, I stood amongst my classmates and stared at the floor beneath my feet.

It goes without saying that it is a horrible tragedy, and my thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the astronauts. It is a doleful but noble end to lose one's life in the name of science.
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mattchun 2/03/2003 09:10:00 AM [+] ::
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DO NOT USE THE YELLOW ICE

On Saturday night, after an enjoyable (though ear-splitting) gnosh-fest with friends in the North End, I caught up with some other friends, and headed to Mantra, a chic club in downtown Boston. There, among other activities, I relieved myself in an ice machine. Actually, it was a urinal disguised as an ice machine. I guess ten dollar Grey Goose and Tonics can support some interesting plumbing design.
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mattchun 2/03/2003 12:48:00 AM [+] ::
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