inspiration strikes - a break from the monotony

Friday, May 30, 2003

BRINGING YOU THE FUNNY CIDE OF SCIENCE

Did you hear that scientists have cloned a mule?

Mules, the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse, are typically sterile. This experiment provides a way for these beasts of burden to reproduce.

I chortled when I read the following excerpt from the New York Times: "The same technique might also allow geldings, which are castrated horses, to have progeny. As the scientists involved in the mule cloning were quick to point out, Funny Cide, winner of this year's Kentucky Derby and Preakness, is a gelding."

This is a remarkable achievement for the world of science, but you know Funny Cide has to be thinking, "Hey Poindexter, I could have easily had progeny if you had let me keep my balls."
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mattchun 5/30/2003 10:20:00 AM [+] ::
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PLAYSTATION

Did you ever see the movie, the Last Starfighter, where some kid is recruited as a fighter pilot by a bunch of aliens because he gets the high score on some videogame? There's a study out asserting that playing action games might help to train military personnel or rehabilitate visually impaired patients. Mind you, this isn't the Weekly World News, this was published in Nature*. Apparently, action games help train the player to assimilate more visual information more rapidly. The best improvements came with "the least socially desirable games," such as Grand Theft Auto and Medal of Honor.

*The best part about this article is the picture of the kid playing videogames who looks like he's about to blow his gourd
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mattchun 5/28/2003 05:05:00 PM [+] ::
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SPELLING BEE

I was once a spelling bee champion. Yes, some 15 years ago, when I was but a wee lad, I was a member of a state championship spelling team. My rough and tumble spelling posse defeated all challengers in a hardscrabble fight to the finish. There are a couple of pictures of me out there sporting messy bed-head hair and crooked glasses. I certainly looked the nebbishy part.

Because of this experience, I get a bit of a kick out of reading up a little on the National Spelling Bee and its contestants. Now, kids these age are always awkward, but NSB competitors are the bumbliest, most socially mal-adjusted kids I've ever seen. I've always been a bit of a tool, but if I didn't know better, I'd swear these kids are from another planet. I mean, is this the one time during the year that their parents allow them out of the house?

One of the great things about this competition is that it may well be the one chance for most of these kids to shine in the spotlight. Parts of the event are usually televised on ESPN and this is like March Madness for spelling geeks. Even better, there are cash prizes awarded, including $12,000 to the winner.

I wonder if there's cadre of bullies out there following the telecast -- rooting for the kids from their schools -- and licking their chops at the prospect of a financial windfall.

"Racketeering, R-A-C-K-E-T..."
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mattchun 5/28/2003 02:50:00 PM [+] ::
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JUXTAPOSITION

Do you remember that segment on Sesame Street in which they would present you with four objects and it was your task to identify the item that didn't belong? There was a catchy little ditty that went along with it: "One of these things is not like the other..." Etc. etc. Yesterday, there was a rain delay to the start of the Red Sox - Yankees broadcast (the Clemens-didn't-get-300-wins game), so as back-up entertainment, we had four items. See if you can figure out which of these things does not belong:

• Jackass, the movie
• Citizen Kane
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
• How High

As much as I'd like to say that we spent the rain delay watching what is widely regarded as the finest American film ever made, we watched the outtakes from Jackass. Johnny Knoxville is kind of like the Orson Welles of this generation, right? *shudder*
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mattchun 5/27/2003 11:19:00 AM [+] ::
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