inspiration strikes - a break from the monotony

Thursday, June 12, 2003

I HOPE IT'S SNOT TRUE

The other day, I was in a meeting and I happened to glance at an executive across the room. The guy had a very serious, pensive look on his face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand rise from the boardroom table, one digit extended. His pointer finger went to his nose briefly... and then to his mouth. I quickly peered around to see if anyone else had noticed, but all other eyes appeared to be gazing elsewhere. Now, I'm not certain, but it looked as though he picked his nose and ate the booger!

This executive is a seasoned industry expert with an advanced degree from Harvard so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt -- but I'll think twice before shaking his hand again.
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mattchun 6/12/2003 01:49:00 PM [+] ::
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DOUBLE-O-INNUENDO

This past weekend, I watched the latest Bond flick, Die Another Day, on DVD. As with all 007 capers, there were some absolutely atrocious one-liners in the dialogue. For example:

VERITY (Madonna) after a fencing match: "You handle your weapon well."
BOND (Brosnan): "I have been known to keep my tip up."
*or*
JINX (Halle Berry), on the impending crash of their aircraft: "Looks like we'll be going down together."
BOND: "Maybe later."

Those of you who frequent this site are aware that I'm inclined to drop the occasional pun, both in prose and in everyday conversation. Last week, I was at lunch with a group of colleagues and one of them was describing her business school professor, an expert in the marketing of yogurt, of all things. I made some sort of remark about this professor being quite refined and debonair -- you know, being an expert in culture.

You see, I'm kind of like James Bond. We both quip acrimonious puns. We both have cool gadgets (Him: Laser-equipped watch, ejector seat; Me: Palm Pilot, MP3 player), we both have our drinks of choice (Him: Martini, shaken not stirred; Me: Newcastle, draft, not bottle), and we both have dangerous registrations (Him: License to Kill; Me: Massachusetts drivers license -- basically the same thing).

All I need now is a group of femme fatales with interesting names like Wanda Fulbosom and Sheila Rouzme and I'll be on my way to superspy-dom.
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mattchun 6/11/2003 04:18:00 PM [+] ::
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RECOMMENCEMENT

As I write this, my alma mater is holding commencement exercises for the Class of 2003. This marks the quadrennial anniversary of my own commencement, an occasion that I view with a mixture of surprise, trepidation and pride.

Surprise: Holy $#*%! Has it been four years already?!?

Trepidation: What have you been doing these past four years? Have you accomplished any of your goals? What are you doing with your life?

Pride: Hey champ, you're a stud. Your golf game is improving. You're making good bank. You have a reasonable modicum of control over your future.

I tend to be rather pensive; the four year point is a good time for me to pause and reevaluate my place in life. I'm not certain where exactly I'm headed, but the next four years are going to witness some profound changes: I'm excited to see where they take me.
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mattchun 6/10/2003 12:01:00 PM [+] ::
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